You’ll be bright

I watch my coach demonstrate the first combination of the night.

“Oooh-let-me-try-my-turn!”

That wasn’t even remotely… close… to what…

FAIL

It’s easy to watch that top notch Muay Thai practitioner execute that combination with such precision and accuracy, and be like damn, they make it look so easy when I make it look like

But remember dear, you are only seeing the front cover of the book. You haven’t read the ups and downs inside that book. The same ups and downs, you too, are writing now.

Get. Up.

Keep moving to meet yourself where you want to be. Imagine that self at the end of the path. Keep moving down that path. Keep going.

If you keep writing your story, one day someone will look upon the cover of your book with starry eyed hope.

And yes, you may say, Amaaannddaa my gym is closed. My partners and coach are no where in sight.

Yes, that reality stings, but as Sophie says to the fire demon Calcifer in Howl’s Moving Castle, “They say that the brightest spark burns best when circumstances are at their worst.”

So burn bright baby, burn bright.

I hope one day to establish a nonprofit  that connects teen girls to the power of martial arts in the hopes they gain a strong sense of confidence and self advocacy skills along the way.

I’ve been lingering in low self esteem off and on for the last few months, and recently a question has been echoing inside of me:

How are you to inspire confidence in young women if you are not a living breathing example of this?

With that being said, I have no choice but to rise to meet my best self at the end of the path.

 

 

Coming back

I’ve been away from training. A lot of my time, besides work, was spent at the gym.

Not away totally – just have been having some long standing health issues checked out and treated for.

And that is why the last 3 months I have not been sparring nor doing fight drills. Only pads.

Learning Muay Thai is like learning a language. There is a process of acquisition.

Pads class is like flipping through your grammar & vocab flashcards, practicing reading/writing, doing scripted role-play with partners, etc.

Sparring and fight drills are like –

Okay, I’ve been studying flashcards and I’ve been playing with different scenarios, got some grammar down, got some vocab down. Now let’s make use of it in conversation. 

I haven’t been able to practice conversation the last 3 months.

You study a language, usually, to become fluent.

You only gain fluency in a language by speaking and conversing while also fumbling through your speech…making mistakes and learning from those mistakes; by putting yourself out there again and again each time you fail.

Now that some light has been shed on those health issues, things are looking brighter- I can start doing drills and sparring again soon.

With all that being said, it’s time to start talking again, baby.

Time to start jabbering; time to grow from my mistakes.

Time to move forward.

Oh for teep sake…

I’ve been struggling with my push kicks (teeps) a little.

It’s like my form is off. When I push my balance becomes off. Currently, I’m chillin’ at frustration station.

As I start to throw it, I almost lift my pushing leg up like I’m about to take a step

Which, coach pointed out is a tell…

I just can’t get it

Need to be subtle so they don’t even see it coming. Sneaky like…

So, got some work to do. I will master the teep. Teep here. Teep there… teep everywhere. For teep sake!

What we do for fun

Half way through the rounds of sparring, Coach goes

“Listen for my cues…”

I’m over here like…

Middle of the round…

“Clinch!”

“Break throw!”

12 low!

Sparring ends

If there is one philosophical lesson I’ve learned from sparring so far, it’s that you are far tougher and braver than you may realize.

Sparring, it’s what I do for fun now. What we do for fun. Welcome to the club.

This ain’t kickboxing, honey; this is Muay Thai

She pulled me in for the clinch and started throwing knees; without thinking I said with a little shock in my voice, “WOAH clinching”

“This ain’t kickboxing, honey; this is Muay Thai” she replied jokingly (but also, seriously) as she broke the clinch by pushing my face away.

That was snippet of my first Friday advanced sparring class.

The freedom to throw knees readily and clinch in sparring was new to me.

Everyone is so skilled.

It’s inspiring.

I recently ranked up; meaning I am able to now spar with the best of ’em.

And you know what?

Until next time!

 

Giving it all you’ve got

Bearing our souls to the world. That’s what we do when we train; when we fight. The fact that we make the choice to do this on a regular basis despite the bullshit or pain we may be enduring in “real” life is an amazing thing. And honestly, it’s healing.

Some days you may feel so physically/mentally/emotionally exhausted from on-going personal battles, work, general lackluster for life, or whatever it may be. Still, you show up. You show up to improve yourself when yourself feels drained like a car running on no fluids.

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You could justify laying on the couch and doing nothing. I mean, after all, you’ve had a looooong day.

But, the fact that despite it all, you show up, put in the work, channel that fire inside you, connect the pieces, make it flow, and give your all is incredible. 

Everyone develops their own unique style, has their own quirks, their own strengths and weaknesses; all which are exposed to the world. It’s intimate. We bear our souls. 

Speaking with our bodies. Both violent and beautiful. Poetry in motion.

[Deep thoughts over – insert segue here]

Rank test.

One week from today. 

My plan to prepare

  1. Get to work early so I can leave work early so I can get to The Cellar early to train more
  2. Do classes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week.
  3. Do drills on lunch break every day with Michael (his work is close to mine and he has pads–yay!)
  4. Use study guide to practice before class with cellar buddies
  5. Bag work focusing on specific goals

Specific goals

Shadow box in the morning before work

Check, block, parry faster 

Practice defense. Defense drills before or after class with someone

Keep mentality in check. No sulking or self-doubt allowed

Keep tools sharp 

Answer back

Be aware of my openings – work to keep them closed 

Be aware of their openings and exploit them

Distance. Jammed up after throwing kicks too often still

Footwork and cutting angles 

Technique with speed. Improve technique and speed during sparring

Attack and counter without hesitation. Don’t hold yourself back. Keep going

Tap into my creativity. My creative side is highly developed, but I feel I haven’t applied to Muay Thai; yet

Recognize patterns and read opponent. It’s natural for me to  read people and spot patterns pretty quickly/easily in daily life- now to apply this in sparring.

——————–

Coach Chris mentioned how sometimes we take a moment (without realizing) to recognize when an opponent lands something solid on us or vice versa and how we should avoid this at all costs because it makes us vulnerable and causes missed chances to counter. Try to resist the urge, even though inside you be like…

To everyone testing Saturday: let’s have some fun and kill it. 

Throwin ‘bows and answering myself

This past fight night we focused on defending elbows and answering back with elbows.

We did a fun drill where one partner throws a either horizontal elbow to the head and the other partner immediately returns with an elbow with whatever side that’s not protecting the head. This drill helps teach answering back immediately while reminding you the importance of protecting the head from elbows.

I spared with a south paw named Michael at the end of class. I remember when he was brand new to The Cellar; then I moved away for 6 months, came back, and now he’s gotten pretty crisp. Good work. Proud-uh-you.

After class my coach motioned for me to come over.

When kicking a south paw’s front leg, Coach explained while demonstrating, take a small step with your rear foot towards their cross side while really turning and driving your front leg into their front thigh; it should look like you’re slipping a punch as you do this; anything less is a quick slap on the wrist and leaves you vulnerable to their power side. Coach Chris told me that my combinations in sparing have improved; which means a lot to me since I’ve been struggling with stringing practical combos together in sparing.

I had been having a serious case of mental fog the last couple of weeks. I’ve felt myself slipping away into self doubt and frustration. I was wondering why the hell I felt this way. It had been eating away at me living in the back of my mind, surfacing throughout the day here and there…

I paid it some mind when my mind was able to pay, but mostly had been shoving it back into its hole. I decided to sit with it face to face, openly. Just with curiosity. Let’s talk, you and I.

What’s different? How have I improved in the past despite my obstacles? I sat with that thought for awhile.

As I rode the elevator leaving work, I realized in the past I had trained for myself, believed in my abilities as well as my ability to improve, and didn’t concern myself with disappointing others. That mentality had been missing lately.  As soon as I realized this, this mentality resurfaced.

Until next time…

Neosporin for the soul

You know that gentle soothing feeling you get from putting Neosporin on a cut?

Training in Muay Thai is like that; Neosporin for the wounds no one can see.

It works to soothe what feels like too much to take at times. Shakes you. Wakes you up.

Like when an ill seed has planted and taken root in your heart and is now turning into a gnarly twisted tree; every dedicated moment you create through bettering yourself through training, that sickness gets chopped down little by little.

Once you step onto the mat with hands wrapped, once you begin drilling back and forth with your partner, once you are listening and learning from your coach, and putting those puzzle pieces together, once you feel the love of that community surrounding you – you become filled with goodness and light.

For all of this, I am eternally grateful.

All ’bout dat low kick

“You can throw some more mustard on it” my partner Sean says.

“Like, you want me to kick your leg harder?” I reply.

“Yeah, wanna toughen my leg up”

So I kicked harder, not my hardest, but much harder.

“Am I kicking too hard?”

“Nah that’s perfect”

“Only place I’ll be told ‘kick harder, yep that’s just right'”

In class we focused on both front leg and rear leg kicks with no shin guards. We went three for three focusing on form and aim. I’m working on throwing weight into my low kick and hitting the right spot. Mindfulness and repetition is the key.

All of us stood in a big circle around Coach Chris as he explained the importance of low leg kicks – there is a bundle of nerves on the upper/slightly outer thigh that if you continuously throw kicks at, that leg will shut down, leaving your opponent dragging big time.

On a water break I commented to Jess how low kick heavy this particular class, she commented with how low kicks are the “bread and butter” of MMA fighting. I’m a sucker for idioms, and that one made me smirk.

During my most recent class I partnered with a Huaxing. I’d been meaning to for awhile now, but just never had. I remember when she first came to the gym and just began learning Muay Thai. I encouraged her to practice before, in-between, and/or after class on the bags. And she did, all the time. Amazing. Now it’s been around 6 or so months since I met her and dang, is she looking sharp. That girl’s got grit. Her moves are clean with power.

It’s been months since I stepped into The Cellar. I have never received such warm greetings from so many people than at my gym. Endless gratitude for the amazing people and love that is The Cellar.